Don't Burn Your Turkey

Click on the photo to hear the death shrieks of Frazee's mascot. [198k wav file].

Giant Turkey Incinerated During Secret Repairs

Frazee, Minnesota

July 1, 1998. Frazee, Minnesota. On a hilltop overlooking the western entrance to this peaceful town, members of Frazee's maintenance department are secretly laboring over Big Tom -- the 22-foot-tall beloved civic symbol of this, the Turkey Capital of the World -- working against the clock to get BT shipshape for Frazee's upcoming Turkey Days festival. With a blowtorch. Suddenly, calamity!

An errant tongue of superheated flame ignites one of the legs of the highly combustible paper mache gobbler. Within seconds, Big Tom is wrapped in a death mantle of black smoke, its body feeding the insatiable fire like grandma feeding gruel to a Thanksgiving season orphanage. Fire departments from neighboring towns rush in to contain the blaze -- much to the embarrassment of Frazee's maintenance crew -- but it's already too late. All that remains is a pile of unrecognizable slag.

ABOVE: The turkey installed
on September 19, 1998.

For the first time in a dozen years the Turkey Days festival goes on without Big Tom. His charred pedestal of honor is occupied by a crudely shaped paper mache egg.

But not for long! The cycle of civic symbol life comes full circle on September 19 -- when a new, improved Big Tom arrived in town (on order from F.A.S.T.), once again providing the visual gravy to Frazee's meaty boast.

[Note: Even though Frazee received by far its most publicity ever because of Big Tom's fiery exit, and even though we personally can't resist a good tourist attraction fire photo, we do not encourage the immolation of large, weather-beaten, combustible civic symbols by other towns.]

(World's Largest Turkey: Frazee, MN [Show Map] Directions: Hwy 29 to Rt 10. On a hilltop, southwest side of town, in Lions Park. Hours: Daylight hours. )

Arctic Ice Caps Growing! Run For Your Lives!

Inconvienent for Al Gore, the antarctic ice sheets are expanding on an average rather than shrinking as commonly reported. In fact this study indicates an actual net DECREASE in sea levels. Contrasting what global warming "chicken littles" consistantly declair. The Fark.com thread has been aflair with cries of a big-oil slanting facts, and conspiracy afoot. Arguing online is about as effective as a carpool lane, most people just get stuck in traffic spewing CO2 while the prius carpool passes by on the left hand empty lane.

Nuff Said

Thanks "American Woman" for this fitting quote

Click Here For The Best MySpace Profile Ever!

Picasa by Microsoft?

Windows Vista is to be released early next year and boasts loads of new features to make your computer experience more enjoyable. Most of these features that I reviewed seemed very familiar to me, especially the media organizing features that look mysteriously similar to my old standby Picasa program. Good ol'e MS is bundling image organization, complete with red-eye removal, cropping, and exposure adjustments, calling it Windows Photo Gallery. With the exception of voice recognition, I haven't seen any compelling reason to get excited about Vista, at least not yet.

Comon' You Didn't Listen!

So all my readers, all three of you, didn't listen to my plea last post and apparently either didn't vote, or voted for the D's. Fortunately the tax cuts don't expire until 2010, but one thing is for certain: Even less will get done in Washington now.

The interesting thing is still nobody is listening to the people. Take a look at the state ballet initiatives that passed & failed this election:

AZ - English Official Language - YES
CO - Legalize Domestic Partnerships - NO
CO - Legalize Same Sex Marriage - NO
CO - Legalize Marijuana - NO
ID - Ban Same Sex Marriage - YES
MI - Limit Affirmative Action - YES
NV - Legalize Marijuana - NO
SC - Ban Same Sex Marriage - YES
SD - Ban Same Sex Marriage - YES
SD - Legalize Marijuana - NO
TN - Ban Same Sex Marriage - YES
WI - Ban Same Sex Marriage - YES

It is clear, conservative values still rule, 5 more states have put a constitutional ban on same sex marriage, 3 states failed to pass a legal dope program, and Michigan was keen enough to realize Affirmative Action is destroying its state. Arizona was speaking loud and clear in ENGLISH, and with the exceptions of minimum wage increases across the board, and that Oregon teenagers are still able to kill the unborn without telling mommy and daddy it was a conservative mandate on family values. There might still be hope if the politicians regain consciousness.

10 Reasons to Vote Republican

I don't agree with all of the Republican policy. If you have read posts in the past you might find me a bit further right wing than your typical Red-State republican. Regardless of my political opinion, look at these 10 reasons to vote red this year, or rather, why NOT be blue!

1. National Security: While the (R) has authorized the NSA to listen in when Al-Qaeda comes a calling. Vote in a (D) and your doomed! Dem's have threatened repeal the patriot act, close Guantanamo thus freeing known terrorist combatants, and give your security back to the FBI who so famously failed us on 911. (Not to mention a withdrawal from Iraq certain to insure a civil war and reinstatement of a totalitarian militant Islamic state)
2. Economy: The (D) candidate will like you to believe the economy is is sad shape. If that is the case then they must be against low unemployment, a booming stock market, record high home-ownership, and steady economic growth. They just don't want to admit the tax policy of the administration is what sparked our economic recovery. Could you imagine how strong our economy would be today had we not had to pay for 911, the war on terror, and the destruction from Katrina? (Oh, forgot those are all Bush's fault right?)
3. Immigration: I don't give any Republican a passing grade on immigration reform, but if I was the dean of students for the congress, all the Democrats would be expelled! Unfortunately on this issue I am voting for party that will do the least damage to our nation when in comes to ILLEGAL immigration. Let's face it. While the (R)'s must be catering to the cheap labor lobby, the (D)'s are amplifying the ILLEGAL issue by granting entitlements from free health care to food stamps and education benefits to people who crashed the party.
4. TAXES! : Do I have to elaborate? We know the Republicans are for lower taxes, but don't be fooled when the CRATS claim they only plan to raise taxes on the rich. They routinely raise taxes, regulation, and fees on business that employ YOU. When business has more burden, less revenue goes to labor, less labor = layoffs! Lower taxes don't just create more personal wealth, it also helps create jobs.
   
5. Health Care: My health care costs between insurance and co-pays are my 3rd highest expense, right next to my home and transportation. This would be higher on 10 reasons if I was not afraid of a dirty bomb delivered by Islam or getting taxed to death. Wait... my 4th expense, I forgot about TAXES. The "demon-cats" plan consists of government regulation to a national health care program sure to burden our medical system with more bureaucracy, more layers, and more scrutiny than it already receives from the lawyers and insurance companies. The problem with rising costs of health care is the legal system threatening to sue doctors out of business, and the pharmaceutical industry claiming you need a prescription from everything from fatigue to sore feet. Hold back the pill pushers and the malpractice lawyers and let medicine heal itself. Vote Republican and tell your rep to pass tort reform!
6. Education: Charter schools, choice in education through voucher programs, and giving the local control and power to administrators and school boards to actually run there own schools is the solution. Republicans in this issue are the champions of choice. Democrats continue to cater to teacher's unions, and bureaucrats that mismanage funds, and put our tax dollars in the pockets of administrators and studies rather than in education. More money is not the solution to our national education crisis. This is one model we SHOULD be taking from European countries where the money goes with the student, not the teacher.
7. Energy: Thanks to regulations and policy long in place by the liberal green peace activists we can't drill for our own oil so we depend on others. If we want to free up our resources to develop alternate fuels, we first need to free up our own resources so we don't' have to play politics with the middle east. Democrats repeatedly shut down prospects of off-shore drilling, Alaska oil exploration, and proven nuclear technology advances. Again while Dem's reverence Europe on social policy, they ignore energy policy success in country's like Germany and France where nuclear power is safe, plentiful and considered GREEN! In the USA now even hydroelectric renewable energy is being labeled taboo, and no longer supported in our future national energy strategy. Biodiesel and Ethanol are growing prospects but currently we subsidize so much of this industry it is unclear if there are net energy gains after you cultivate and process the bio fuels, especially if we push this energy alternative too quickly. (Another story for later) Bottom line, the Dem's had 8 years to work on our energy policy and failed, and have been a roadblock in congress for the last 6 in passing a conservative energy policy.
8. National Debt: While the only legitimate talking point by the democratic party is the drastic upswing of our national debt, this is correcting itself by a conservative fiscal policy and the income growth is boosting revenue even more than projected by the tax cuts. Had the economy remained stagnant using a liberal economic model, we would have either #1 not funded any of the crisis's of the past 6 years (911, War, Katrina Relief) or #2 been in a worse deficit than today. It will never be admitted but the reduction in deficit during the Clinton administration was more luck than policy. The economic growth was the result of the prior administration, and the lack of any major national financial obligation allowed us to reduce our federal deficit. We are on path to do that again, provided we don't let our guard down and let 911 happen again.
9. Family Values: The entertainment industry has everything to gain if Nancy Pelosi gets nominated speaker of the house. Porn in every household should be her platform, and privacy rights for every pornographer and child molester in the country is her priority. Well not in those direct words but you won't find any Democrats out there championing to protect family values. Here in Oregon, the liberal majority wants 13 year olds to get abortions without parental consent, they want to grant marriage licenses to gay, lesbian, and transgendered individuals, and afford them adoption rights, all while claiming that the right wingers are discriminating against good Americans. What happens in your bedroom is your business, but when you start demanding health care benefits, and want marriage to amount to nothing more than a union between two consenting adults I draw the line. What's next, do we grant marriage to a guy who wants to marry his dog, so his heath insurance will cover the dog's veterinary bills?
10. Crime & Punishment: The Democrats have the crime part right, but don't expect a liberal congress to champion for victims rights, unless the victim is a gay illegal immigrant who was the subject of sexual and racial discrimination when applying for a child care position at the local grade school. We put executives in prison while we catch and release child rapists. COME ON, look will your candidate rather fund a prison or a methadone clinic?

Your not voting for Bush this election, your voting for YOU and your FAMILY. So I close with one of my favorite tips this year: Don't F**K It up!

Speaker Pelosi

With the election just days away, I can't keep from posting some political commentary.
While the economy is stronger than it has been in years, taxes are lower, unemployment is lower, home ownership at an all time high, the only thing the Dems have to talk about is there contempt for the Bush admin, and the war in Iraq. They have been claiming Bush has failed since he has failed to capture Bin-Ladin, but the most liberal democrat believes that Bin-Ladin is not our biggest concern. So if they can't agree on who our enemy is in the war on terror, how to they expect to win it?

Fall Sunrise

This sunrise caught my eye on my drive to work a couple weeks ago. I have been long overdue in posting anything new, keep checking in, I might surprise you.

Brief Safe

My uncle sent this my way, and I thought it was ingenious! Not only could you keep thiefs from finding your valuables during a burglury, you could keep snacks or the remote control hidden from the kids. When I get home from work, a lift of the waist band and I can pop a moon pie in my mouth, turn on Fox News, all without hunting for the clicker in the couch cushions.

Pacifism For Dummies

Pacifism only works when everyone plays by the rules. As soon as a stone is tossed, all hell will break loose. To assume that all cultures and all peoples will remain honest in the persuit of peace is the first nievety of the pacifist. Then one must also asume that there would be no debate of belief, human rights or equality, wealth, resources, or borders. Throw in the extremist islamo-facists around the globe and the reality is clear. We need to be on the defense 100% of the time, with a nuclear weapon, our enemy needs to succed only once.

They have the will, do we?

Jihadists: International Bullies

The liberal media bias is showing it's backside again as it scurries to read the recently declassified report on the growing terrorism threat and decipher it for you. The opinions penned by so-called unbiased media outlets translate the report to read that the Bush administration's pursuit of terroists, results in an increased threat from terrorism. I guess the pacifist solution is when a bully strikes, don't defend yourself or dare strike back, or you might incite more bullies. Just sit back and hope these aggressive types leave you alone, while you determine what youv'e done to offend the said bully and change your offensive behavior to better live in harmony with mankind.

Chad's Not Hanging Around

Since the 2000 florida election debacle, precincts across the country have been updating to electronic voting technology. Unfortunately technology is never as realiable as one might hope. Imagine casting your vote and getting the windows fatal error blue screen of death. "An unexpected error has occured, the balot machine must restart" Even before reading the New York Times piece on the subject, I saw a similar story about voter machine hacking. Voters be ware!

Who's Hugo?

Hugo Chávez, the anti-american, socialist leader of Venezuela, calls himself a leader for the people. He proclaims to be against the imperial capitalistic world order imposed by America and specifically president Bush. But who is he really, and why should we care? If you try to do any research online be wary, most blogs and media stories portray him just as he portrays himself. While he has grasped the popular support from the lower class in his country, he has also aligned himself with the likes of Fidel Castro and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. While speaking from one side of his mouth about American agression, he has been using the countrys oil wealth do boost it's military. Free political expression is squelched as opponents fear being jailed and there is also cridible evidence even his landslide election was rigged electronically, as exit polls contrast the results from computer voting machines owned and contracted by shell companies tied to the governent. Read Hugo Chavez vs. America &
Why is Hugo Chávez Involved With U.S. Voting Machines?

Wieners of Fire

Sadly, Daisy took 2nd place, and was eliminated from the finals.

Oktoberfest Time!

We came, we ate, we left, but we WILL RETURN! The practice runs were held friday night for the "Weiner Races" that Daisy will be participating in on Saturday at the O-Fest.

Check back for updates, results, and a shot of us in the winner's circle! 

Summer's Over :-(

A downpour of rain & hail assaulted me on my drive this afternoon. Tempuratures are dropping, the sun is setting earlier, and my winter depression is setting in. On the up-side, we got our first snow in the mountains so it is time to wax the board! 

The Queen of Nuts

Rosie O'Donnell has been dubbed the queen of nice, is that supposed to be a nickname like calling her slim, or a big guy tiny? This whacko is now claiming there is a "Radical Christianity" threatening the world. "In America" apparently now the christians are trying to trump the Jihadists. I wasn't aware that the 700 club had bomb making classes. Did Billy Graham author a book "If you can't save-em behead'em"? I must have missed that story on Air America.

Freak of Nature

While driving home from an errand we watched this dust devil whip through a field. This is less than a mile from our home, and was by far the biggest dust devil I have ever seen.

No Votes for Dopes

Every election year the “get the vote out” crowd starts the door knocking, public service announcements, and voter registration drives. Remember P-Ditty’s “Vote or Die” campaign? While on one hand I am a true believer in our democratic process, the other hand, my stronger and more dominant “right” hand holds the reality that some people are just too stupid to be allowed to make such an important decision. If you know what’s at stake, and want your voice to be heard, get out there and vote.

Lets for the moment imagine a mental hospital had a democratic process to elect the hospital administrator. Do you think if the patients were permitted to vote for the administration they would choose the candidate that would run the hospital in the most safe and efficient manner, or the one who promised extra Jello® for lunch?

Keeping this little story in mind, now lets look at what candidate is offering the jello and what candidate is offering national security and government efficiency. If your choice happens to be a democrat, then you might consider a mental health check up.


Just a tip.

Homeland Security Press Conference

This SNL skit is one of my favorites, We could use a laugh this month.